Creating a space that allows for a different quality of connecting

Since this is my first post I have of course been deliberating and mulling over what should I say? I have just become an independent facilitator after having worked for an organization for 10 years, so its been a slow start to the year, but at least now I have a couple of processes under my belt, and things are getting busy, so I thought I should write something.

So I've been thinking about what it is we as facilitators offer a group in a social process - what is the core, regardless of what it is you are facilitating. And I have come to realize that the best thing you can do is to firstly create and then facilitate a quality of space that transforms the way people usually connect to each other. This has a lot to do with how you start a process and how you allow a group to interact and introduce themselves.

The way I have been doing this is to start the process in a particular way - here it is really about setting the scene, and sometimes you may not know the group intimately so it will be a bit of a risk taking exercise especially when you are trying something different. I have also been trying to set up a space up in a way that is different - always a circle that allows people to face each other - and where possible without tables in the way. I am not opposed to tables as sometimes they make sense practically if people are doing a lot of writing.

Then to have some kind of personalizing of the space, creating a pleasant aesthetic, whether it is to bring beautiful cloths (I have several African cloths collected in my travels in Africa), some flowers in a vase, candles, a few nice objects, music playing in the background etc). I like using lots of color as well - so if I have a flip chart stand I make sure I have written a welcome sign in nice bright crayons - and recently I learnt from another facilitator Heather Ferris, to drape something over the top of the stand - she used some hearts (actually one of those hanging decorative items). Its all about creating a space that looks inviting, especially when one works in bland, institutionalized spaces.

Now be careful here - I want to share some anecdotal responses received from participants recently. This one process I ran I used a white cloth and had candles, incense, and some objects, including a little fairy doll that a friend had given me (and I've decided to take her with to all those processes where I think she would be welcomed. So this participant asks me what the significance of the setting is (we were working in a vast hall and I had set up the circle near the stage and used the stage to drape the cloth and put the candles etc. on - so I open it up and ask the group how do they interpret it and this one guy says actually it freaked him out a bit and he thought of church and his tendency would be to turn his back on such things, also the doll worried him - so we had a good laugh and I reassured him that was not my intention (in fact I usually set things up on the floor but this time did not) - I also told them my choice of color and objects were quite random and dependent on my mood. I then asked the group whether they would like to transform the space and use what I had brought in a different way, so I left the room and allowed them to change it - they then put everything into the centre on the floor and changed it so it was more random and less ordered. and then they all sat on the floor and one women said it felt very African and she likened it to sitting around the fire. The group then immediately settled into a more relaxed mode.

I have since learnt that perhaps I need to be more conscious about what I bring and how I set it up - or alternatively bring a range of things and ask the group to set it up like what emerged with this group. I know in some processes facilitators may ask the group beforehand to bring music, objects, art, symbols etc. and these are then used to decorate the space. One needs to consider cultural and religious beliefs which may impact on how people interpret what is brought and how it is set up.

Then the other thing is to get the voices in the room out there as soon as possible - so this is usually done by a round of introductions. I always try to do this in different ways, sometimes I provide a question like - What is giving you energy in your work, or what has recently inspired you. I have also uses symbols for  introductions and I either ask people to choose a symbol from nature or bring something of their personal belongings, and recently I took an array of symbols and objects which I then asked people to choose from. They had to choose an object that says something about where they are in their lives and in then introduce themselves by talking about their choice of symbol. They then had to place their symbol somewhere where everyone could see it - either in the centre of the room or on a table, and then each person had to connect their symbol to the previous person's. This worked exceptionally well and took the group very quickly into an amazing space of depth and connecting quite intimately and was really a wonderful way to start especially since my brief was to do some kind of team building.

I have also done an appreciative approach with groups who work together and know each other - I put all their names in a bowl - then ask them to draw a name, then they should say what they appreciate about that person, and we go around the room allowing each person to share about the person they drew.

Another thing I learnt recently is to use an object to pass around for the introductions - the same facilitator quoted earlier - Heather Ferris, passed around a little beanbag heart - it was really comforting to have something in your hand as you spoke.

I have found that once you create a space of meaning and caring, a space where people take ownership and have their voices heard, then the facilitation process becomes one that is truly owned by participants, and then whatever the facilitator brings thereafter is interacted with in quite a different way. It lifts the level of interaction and also deepens it. I have also been told that this way of working is very feminine, and I have seen this approach work equally well with men in the group, who enjoy the opportunity to connect differently.

I need to add that this approach is also open to critique where some people say it is fluffy or touchy feely, and in fact one of the participants said it could be intimidating in a professional space, if you are asked to share meaningfully and you get emotional and your voice starts to quiver it is disarming. I always say to my groups that they should only share what they feel comfortable sharing. I am also very aware that as a facilitator, I am holding a space for the group and therefore have to be very conscious of how I do that and clear about what I am equipped to facilitate.

In my experience I have seen more groups transformed in their connecting with each other and it changes the dynamic very quickly which then allows for much more meaningful dialogue and conversation to follow. It also allows for the elephants to be named sooner and more easily than if the connecting space had not been cared for.